Part of making friends is respecting the other person or group, and one of the common psychological consequences of this is that those who are respected become more open to new ways of thinking and living. This is something that has been recognised in research. For example, Self-determination theory, developed by Edward Deci and Richard Ryan (1985, 2000), showed that what is termed ‘autonomy-supportive communication’ produces more enduring internalisation than controlling tactics. Autonomy-supportive communication is an approach to interactions that fosters independence, self-motivation, and personal ownership by honouring an individual's perspective and offering meaningful choices. In short, respect. This means acknowledging the other person’s point of view, even when we don’t agree with it.

When we relate like this, it facilitates internalisation, which is the process of absorbing and accepting external ideas and values, so they become a core part of our own identity and belief system. This is exactly our aim when we share the Gospel. We want people to ‘take on board’ what we are saying. Therefore, through our manner and the way we relate, we make it clear to them that we recognise their intelligence, their freedom to choose, and their right to make up their own mind. We might say that friendship opens doors, but respect makes a way. Respecting others is not merely right – it helps win people for Christ.